Our life is becoming empty, and we are becoming devoid of love. We know the sensations of the senses, we understand appearances and displays, we know the lure of sensuality. But there is no love in all this. So, how can we bring change in this emptiness? How can we find that light where there is no smoke? Let's move forward to know the truth of the matter.
We are highly active, we keep writing books, we go to the cinema, we play, we love, we work, yet our life has become so empty, dull, and monotonous. Why have our relationships become so superficial, empty, and dishonest? We know our life to the extent that there is no special significance to our existence.
We keep repeating those scriptures, aphorisms, and thoughts that have been memorized - whether they come from great souls, saints, or we follow someone or the other, whether it's religious, political, or intellectual. We have become like a gramophone record - repeating what has been filled in, and we call this 'knowledge.' We keep chanting it. We keep singing it repeatedly, yet our life remains tedious and colorless.
This doesn't mean that we become sentimental, start flowing in emotions. We know this emptiness, are familiar with this strange feeling of dejection. Why is there so much negativity in our life? We can only understand it when we stay alert in our relationships, remain aware of them. What is actually happening in our relationships? Are our relationships not limited to just thinking about ourselves?
Is every activity of the mind a process of self-preservation, seeking security, and perceiving oneself as separate from others? Isn't it true that our thinking constantly revolves around seeing ourselves as separate? Even though we may call it thinking for everyone, what we do in our lives, isn't it a process of constantly keeping ourselves locked within our own shell?
You can see this in your own life. Family has become a process of enclosing oneself within and creating separation. Due to this separation, it often ends up playing the roles of enmity and opposition. Every activity leads us towards separation. And it's from this that feelings of emptiness and hollowness emerge.
It's because of this emptiness that we start trying to fill it with things like radios, noise, gossiping, acquiring knowledge through reading, earning name or money, and becoming a social figure. But it's the actions of enclosing ourselves within that perpetuate our separateness. This is why life has become a process of separation, denial, resistance, and conforming to some mold for most people. And certainly, life doesn't remain life in this process.
Act like everything is fine. I laugh at people’s jokes, I do silly things with my friends and I act like I have a carefree life. It’s funny though. When I come back home, I just turn off that mental switch. Then suddenly I break down. I feel alone, empty, tired. It’s like I am two different people. One for the public and one for myself. Only if they knew. Only if.
The pleasures of life are like our shadows as well. I’m not saying they are worthless or going after them is futile. Chasing them, however, is a matter of play, at the most a tête-à-tête with your own reflection. All is well as long as we are playing with them, rejoicing in their transience. The moment we want to grab them, own them, the struggle starts. The only sensible way is to catch yourself.
Until a child learns to crawl or walk, his mother is his whole world. Ma’s milk is the sweetest food and her lap feels like the safest place. His center of bliss is his mother. As the child grows a bit, his attention oscillates between his toys and his mother. Now, he wants to get out of his mother’s lap and play with his fire truck or police car. His center of bliss moves from his mother to his toys.
A few more years pass and the child wants to play with his friends now. The earlier toys fascinate him no more. The peek-a-boo he used to play with his mother is now embarrassing and ludicrous. The center of his bliss has shifted once again. Neither toys nor his mother. His friends and his own dreams start to occupy his mind.
He grows older and his attention invariably shifts to sensual pleasures. The growing youth now wants to stay out of the home, out of supervision, and have fun. He needs more than what he has to enjoy more than what he can. His center of bliss is divided between carnal pleasures and big boys’ toys.
Gravitating towards the acquisition of wealth, his ambitions fuel him to work harder. He gets a job, starts earning and joins the race of having more and more. At this age, it’s not tiring but exhilarating. There’s a sense of achievement and joy in material progress because his center of bliss is now his career. The attachment to gadgets remains as does the desire (or need) for bodily pleasures but the fascination starts to wear off. Those things become a part of routine life.
Once he has a family, a few more years pass and he’s engrossed in taking care of his kids and family. Everyone around him is focused on their own lives and suddenly, one day, he (or she) realizes that he is alone. Alone. All alone. This is when emptiness hits him hard. Mother, toys, learning, success, sex, wealth, or family are no longer his center of bliss. He’s not ready to forgo the pleasures because of how empty life would be without these, he thinks.
Holding on to these pleasures is of little help though. Emptiness continues to haunt him leading to confusion, loneliness and a sense of lacking. There seems to be no way out. Life feels to have no purpose or meaning. No direction or charm. Forget contentment and happiness.
The key is to have your center of bliss rooted in your inner world. It’s never too late to discover it. And if you believe me then let me tell you that this discovery does not start with meditation. That’s only a tiny part of it (your center of attention does determine your center of bliss). The inner journey of discovering yourself, however, begins by consciously cultivating emotions of contentment, gratitude and compassion.
You cannot be empty if you are content, you can’t be sad if you are grateful, you can’t be angry if you are compassionate.
Fill yourself with love. It’s worth it. Recalibrate your thoughts, so you may realign your emotions.
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